May 16 2008 / by Jason
Category: Social Issues Year: 2008 Month: May Rating: 8 Hot
By Jason M. Vaughn
Will ABC’s “Lost” conclude in a way
that leaves me fulfilled? Or will I still not understand what that
smoke monster thingy is?
If Victoria’s Secret ever comes out with an invisible bra, could
anyone promise me that this bra will also be edible and packed with
synthetic anti-oxidants called “Victorias”?
Will Michael Jackson’s nose outlive him, and then, after a dip
in some supercharged stem-cell bath, possibly regenerate a
brand-new Michael, or at least come back on stormy nights to haunt
Janet?
Will overpopulation drive certain less-than-stable individuals
to the realization that humans would make an excellent food source?
(cont.)
Let’s say there’s this guy who’s not exactly happy with the look
of his shinbones (this, uh, this friend of mine isn’t happy with
his, so…). Anyway, will scientists be able to grow him some new
ones in a lab somewhere? Ones without dents? Ooh, and could they
also be made of Adamantium? My, uh, my friend really wants to
know.
Will YouTube be allowed to exist again after the Internet
reboot?
Will he-shes (they’d rather be called “polymorphs”) ever be
accepted as contestants in the Miss America pageant? If so, is
there any way we can just, you know, sort of let them skip the
Swimsuit competition?
Also, just how long is Aubrey de Grey’s beard gonna get?
Photo courtesy of
ABC.com
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